A few weeks ago, my brother moved from Queens NY to a small town much nearer to us. I expected it would be nice to have him closer. I did not think it would be as cool as it has been.
I helped him move in, and he took a week or two to get settled. Then he invited us over for dinner. We had homemade chili and gluten-free cornbread. The kids hung out, we played Ticket to Ride, ate ice cream. It was nice. We hadn't really figured out the whole entertainment thing - the boys didn't want to play the game, and there wasn't much for them to do.
Last weekend, we hiked Mt Beacon. It was super fun. Aria didn't want to go, but we had the other 3 kids, and we had a great time. 2 miles of hiking, beautiful views; the outdoors is such a relief from the concrete we used to live in. At the top of the mountain, we turned around and headed back to the car. He continued on a hike and camped for the night.
He started to give Aria guitar lessons, and that's been going on for a few weeks now. She is practicing, and using one of his acoustic guitars. He was going to sell it, but didn't/couldn't, so she's using it now as a loaner. Libby had fun playing his electric guitar, and decided that's what she wanted to do. So we went looking for electrics and found a mini Stratocaster for her for a decent price. She was willing to pay for half of it, so I put it in my Amazon cart. On Monday, my brother found one on Craigslist that included an amp and tuner for just a few dollars more. So I picked that up on Tuesday.
Last night was dinner at his house/guitar lesson night. He grilled burgers, roasted some potatoes (not quite fries, but close), and we took over strawberries and a homemade shortcake. Dinner was nice, and then it was guitar time. He had purchased new strings for Libby's guitar, so he sat down and worked on it for half an hour, telling her how it worked and trying to make it better for her. He had asked me for some birthday ideas for Jake. I had given him some gift ideas, and also suggested that he take Jake out for some 1:1 time. He asked Jake if he'd like that, and Jake was totally on board. Then Libby got her first lesson. Basic, simple, took about 10 minutes, and it was about all she was ready for.
Then we put on Return of the Jedi, and he gave Aria her lesson. Hers took about half an hour. He had bought capos for both of them, and a lesson book for Aria. Then we all snuggled on his couch and loveseat and watched the movie and made fun of it at the same time.
It was the most relaxed I have ever been in a home that wasn't mine. He's so good with the kids, and they really love him. And I really appreciate his service to them, both as an uncle and a guitar teacher. And I am jealous of the bond that they will have with their uncle. He's going to be a very special person to them for the rest of their lives. Which truly is beyond priceless. We're very very blessed.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
#139 - The Honeymoon is Over
When joing a new group of people, there is an initial adjustment phase. I learned it in school as the "storming, forming, norming, performing" scale. At first you're all thrashing around, trying to figure out who does what. Then you start to get. Some things go well, others do not. By the time the team is norming, everyone is comfortable in their roles, and the team works pretty smoothly. It is at this point that the team can start to become greater than the sum of its parts.
In my previous job, I found that it normally took 6 months for someone who joined my team to norm. By a year, he or she was performing for the most part. It has been instructive to me to watch myself in a similar microcosm as I joined my new company and started to become integrated with the team - both above and below me on the management chain.
As checkpoints, it has been instructive to see my performance reviews. My first was a very blase "you're too new here for us to know what you can really do" review. My boss took the time to notice some things I was doing well, and I got a slightly-better-than-the-normal score for such a new employee. 6 months later, I was norming. I got an average review, with plenty of positive comments. I had started to assess my team, to set expectations, and question how we did things.
The honeymoon period for new employees where I work lasts about a year. No matter where you come from, there is a significant learning curve. I brought a lot of relevant experience and skills, but I had a TON of things to learn. After 7 months on the job, I started to act. It was time to implement changes that needed to be made, and I went after it. Along the way, I found members of my team who asked questions, and were interested in the change process. By the end of January, I had made some difficult decisions regarding my team, pushed through some initiatives with the management team, and was making headway on some other projects.
I made a conscious decision to step out from behind everyone else and forge a bit of a trail. Yesterday I got my first real review from my boss. By real, I don't mean that she didn't take time or effort on previous reviews. But this review was an accurate assessment of my skills, qualities, and accomplishments. And I'm happy to say that it was very positive.
So the honeymoon is over, and that's a good thing. I have learned a few things through this process:
1) That the advice I read in business school that successful leaders take some time to observe before making changes was very wise.
2) That the skills I grew at my previous employer were indeed valuable and transferable.
3) That given an environment with some freedom, and a team that wants to get better, I can lead a change effort.
4) That being mid-career is a very comfortable place.
The future is bright - lots of fun things to do, interesting things to learn, and people to coach. Goos tuff. I am so thankful that I was given a chance to be a manager. It is my true calling.
And how different would my life have been if my brother had never introduced me to Dungeons and Dragons? There is a very strong causal link between where I am now and playing D&D as a kid. Another entry for another day.
In my previous job, I found that it normally took 6 months for someone who joined my team to norm. By a year, he or she was performing for the most part. It has been instructive to me to watch myself in a similar microcosm as I joined my new company and started to become integrated with the team - both above and below me on the management chain.
As checkpoints, it has been instructive to see my performance reviews. My first was a very blase "you're too new here for us to know what you can really do" review. My boss took the time to notice some things I was doing well, and I got a slightly-better-than-the-normal score for such a new employee. 6 months later, I was norming. I got an average review, with plenty of positive comments. I had started to assess my team, to set expectations, and question how we did things.
The honeymoon period for new employees where I work lasts about a year. No matter where you come from, there is a significant learning curve. I brought a lot of relevant experience and skills, but I had a TON of things to learn. After 7 months on the job, I started to act. It was time to implement changes that needed to be made, and I went after it. Along the way, I found members of my team who asked questions, and were interested in the change process. By the end of January, I had made some difficult decisions regarding my team, pushed through some initiatives with the management team, and was making headway on some other projects.
I made a conscious decision to step out from behind everyone else and forge a bit of a trail. Yesterday I got my first real review from my boss. By real, I don't mean that she didn't take time or effort on previous reviews. But this review was an accurate assessment of my skills, qualities, and accomplishments. And I'm happy to say that it was very positive.
So the honeymoon is over, and that's a good thing. I have learned a few things through this process:
1) That the advice I read in business school that successful leaders take some time to observe before making changes was very wise.
2) That the skills I grew at my previous employer were indeed valuable and transferable.
3) That given an environment with some freedom, and a team that wants to get better, I can lead a change effort.
4) That being mid-career is a very comfortable place.
The future is bright - lots of fun things to do, interesting things to learn, and people to coach. Goos tuff. I am so thankful that I was given a chance to be a manager. It is my true calling.
And how different would my life have been if my brother had never introduced me to Dungeons and Dragons? There is a very strong causal link between where I am now and playing D&D as a kid. Another entry for another day.
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